7 Things To Do When The World You Thought Existed No Longer Does

When you are going through a tough time; when the world you thought existed no longer does; when you don't know what to do with yourself; when things just seem upside-down; when you're in a funk; when your dreams seem to have shattered; when you'd rather let your plants die than water them . . .

We go through tough times. We are human, error-prone, fragile. Sometimes life seems unfair, or uninspiring, or scary. 

So what do you do? Here are some things to help, maybe even inspire:

1. Don't despair: Being in despair can destroy you mentally, physically, and spiritually. And while there are people who suffer with depression, despair is an emotion you can simply control. If you don't know how to control your emotions, there is plenty of information out there to help you: books, Youtube videos, TEDTalks, etc. Nevertheless, the worst thing you can do when you are disappointed is let yourself get down. Fight it. Don't give in. Call a friend; go out to eat; see a movie; talk with your spouse--do anything to avoid despair.

2. Check your mental models: We all build models in our minds based on our experiences and beliefs--but they're not all true or worth holding onto. Models are slices of reality, but not reality itself. Media, e.g., shapes our mental models. If you're doing a lot of internet surfing and social media engagement right now, your mental models are being shaped by public opinion. But you can rise above it. Check your thoughts: are they good, true, worth holding onto; or are they fear-ridden, media-controlled, hysterical? The good thing about mental models is you can always replace them with others.

3. Be present: Fear is always about the future; love is about the present. Being present for the moment you're in is important for going through tough times. When we fear, we throw ourselves into a reality that doesn't exist--we leave the present moment. During a tough time, be present for yourself and those around you. Lay off the media, put your phone away when you're really down, get out for a walk, breathe in some fresh air, pour a cup of tea.

4. Take time: Our sense of time in the modern western world is warped. We expect everything yesterday. Things take time. Watch how the leaves fall from the trees--it's not an instant sweep; it takes its time--nature takes its time. We are a part of nature. We have only been in Information-Age time for a couple of decades, prior to which has spanned tens of thousands of years. Our bodies and minds are over-run all the time by our technological devices. We are running ragged, and don't know how to stop it. And this often shapes how we see the world. Things in the world take time. We need to know that, and give ourselves time to realign, recuperate, revise, rethink. 

5. Don't give up: If you're working on something and have hit a brick wall, don't give up. You might need to take a break, or put it aside, but don't give up. There are countless stories of people who have achieved tremendous things in the face of hardship and low-odds--and they didn't give up. 

6. Find the good: This is hard when we hold mental models that are negative; but it's very important. You have to find the good in your situation, that redemptive moment. You have to understand that in suffering there is joy; find the joy, and the suffering opens up to something redemptive. The more you discipline yourself to see the good, the more you'll see it. Finding the good supersedes dwelling on the bad. This often comes by being in the present moment. 

7. The first day: When you wake up tomorrow morning, tell yourself "This is the first day of the rest of my life; what's past is gone. I am here, present, ready for a great day; to get closer to finding my destiny, my calling in life, for realizing why I am on this earth." If you tell yourself this everyday, you'll be on better footing to cope with the fatigue of the day with all it will bring.